Stereophonic Zoology

2011-12-31T13:27:00.025-06:00

Hey-yooooo! What up, bitches?! Long time, no blog - I know, I know...what an asshole, amirite? But, I can't go into the new year without doing my annual selection of (drumroll, please) the best albums of 2011! As always these are purely based on my opinion, so if you don't agree, tough titties. It was a hard decision cutting a few, but in the end I think the list is pretty solid. So without any further delay, I give you Stereophonic Zoology's Top 20 Albums of 2011:

20. TV on the Radio – Nine Types of Light
The boys from Brooklyn had a pretty intense year. After non-stop touring, they took a break and recorded this album, and in the process veered away from their signature fuzzy static and noise and wrote some of the best ballads in their career. Sadly they lost their beloved bass player, 34 year-old Gerard Smith, to lung cancer shortly after the release, making it a bitter sweet moment in their career.
Highlights: Keep Your Heart, Will Do, Repetition

19. Theophilus London – Timez Are Weird These Days
From the moment I saw this guy perform at SXSW this past year, I knew this was something special. His unique style of rhyme's are delivered over synthesized beats you could swear were pulled from Studio One in the 80's. It's just so damn catchy. If you're not moved by this music by the second song, you might wanna check your pulse.
Highlights: Last Name London, Love is Real, One Last Time

18. Young the Giant – Young the Giant
Yes, it's your typical, radio friendly group. Yes, they have a very mainstream sound. And yes, at times they can sound like everything else out there. But then you listen to them again. And again. And again. Why you ask? Because sometimes, that "popular" band is just a really fucking good band. Deal with it.
Highlights: Apartment, 12 Fingers, St. Walker

17. Seryn – This Is Where We Are
This five-piece out of Denton, Texas seemingly came out of nowhere with their debut album. Their soaring melodies and grandiose instrumentals immediately catch anyone's attention within earshot. Whether you hear them recorded or live, you can't help but be drawn in by their earnest, dynamic sound.
Highlights: So Within, We Will All Be Changed, Our Love

16. Beirut – The Rip Tide
Four years after his last release, the multi-talented Zach Condon is back with a new album of eastern European melodies and gypsy-tinged folk ballads. However, on this set, his disposition seems sunnier. His voice, sounding older and dustier than his years, keeps the songs grounded. His growth as not only a musician (of which he plays many an instrument) but as a solid songwriter is clear.
Highlights: A Candle's Fire, East Harlem, Vagabond

15. Iron & Wine – Kiss Each Other Clean
You got to respect an artist who's willing to make a big departure from a sound that established him on the scene with his many fans. Sam Beam did just that with this release. Are those horns I hear on an I&W album? You bet they are. His jazzy ensembles and heavily-layered rhythms rubbed some the wrong way. But if you took the time to let this album seep in, it was quite intoxicating.
Highlights: Walking Far From Home, Tree By The River, Rabbit Will Run

14. Fleet Foxes – Helplessness Blues
This folk rock group's sheer unpretentious attitude is one of their most endearing attributes. The harmonies and storytelling in each of their songs is one of the biggest reasons why they continue to build an audience year after year. And with a record as deep and analytical as this one, there's no doubt the boys from Seattle will keep mining gold in the future.
Highlights: Montezuma, Helplessness Blues, Lorelai

13. The Features – Wilderness
Flawlessly juggling chaos and control with just his voice, lead singer Matthew Pelham instantly makes you take notice. This band just rocks, plain and simple. They're serious without taking it too seriously. When this band is going full-tilt, they're hard to beat.
Highlights: Kids, How It Starts, Offer Up

12. Grouplove – Never Trust A Happy Song
Angsty, introspective, sunny, nostalgic, rebelliously carefree, saccharine hippie rock. That pretty much sums up Grouplove, a band of friends whose origins as a group started on the island of Crete. This album will make you wanna give the finger to the establishment and get away from it all.
Highlights: Itchin' On A Photograph, Colours, Love Will Save Your Soul

11. Bon Iver – Bon Iver
After Justin Vernon's first release, most wondered how he could ever top it. How about by taking that signature "folk" sound and combining it with a chamber pop experimental edge. It's flawlessly arranged sound combined with Vernon's exquisite songwriting makes it a piece of beauty.
Highlights: Holocene, Michicant, Calgary

10. Tennis – Cape Dory
This album screams nostalgia. No matter what kind of mood you're in, once you hit play, everything is sunnier. It takes you to breezy coastal waters and warm sandy beaches. You instantly want a Mai Tai. You'll want to set sail for the nearest hammock. Be sure to bring some flip flops.
Highlights: Take Me Somewhere, Marathon, Seafarer

9. The Black Keys – El Camino
Anyone who's a fan of good old-fashioned rock knows this Akron, Ohio duo. They're one of the only survivors of the garage rock revival from a few years ago, but dammit if they don't own it. Time and time again, they show us that often times perfection is simply a wailing guitar and pounding drums.
Highlights: Lonely Boy, Run Right Back, Sister

8. White Denim – D
This Austin quartet's latest release harkens back to a grungy, classic-rock era, with distorted guitars and punk attitude aplenty. There are psychedelic flourishes, hippie mysticism and raspy howls. It would sound as good at the Fillmore in '77 as it does today.
Highlights: It's Him!, Street Joy, Is and Is and Is

7. Cults – Cults
This debut is one hell of a fun listen. Lead singer Madeline Follin's youthful voice soars in an alto-like state, making this some of the most enjoyable indie pop in a while. It's a perfect length, at just over half an hour long. It's catchy as hell. What's not to like?
Highlights: Go Outside, You Know What I Mean, Oh My God

6. Jay-Z & Kanye West – Watch The Throne
Hova. Yeezy. I mean, c'mon. Really? 'Nuff said.
Highlights: No Church In The Wild, Ni**as In Paris, Otis

5. St. Vincent – Strange Mercy
Anyone who knows me knows that I have an affinity for this local talent. You could even go so far as to say there's a bit of a crush involved. But can you blame me? One listen to Annie Clark's hypnotic voice, unhinged, lurching guitar style and grounded, emotional songwriting is enough to make anyone swoon. That goes for you too, ladies.
Highlights: Cruel, Cheerleader, Strange Mercy

4. Manchester Orchestra – Simple Math
These fellas are deep. They're introspective. They have existential crises and question everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah...we get it. You're fuck ups. So why are they on here? Take a listen to the title track and tell me that's not one of the best damn songs you've heard in a long time. Now listen to the rest of the album. You'll thank me.
Highlights: Pensacola, Pale Black Eye, Simple Math,

3. Of Monsters And Men – My Head Is An Animal
Who? What the what? Don't worry. The fact you haven't heard of these guys isn't that surprising. This album flew under the radar most of this past year, but for those that found it, what a pleasant surprise. This Icelandic folk-pop group takes everything you love about Arcade Fire, Mumford & Sons and Edward Sharpe and weave their own brand of catchy, irresistible tunes.
Highlights: King and Lionheart, Little Talks, Six Weeks

2. The Dear Hunter – The Color Spectrum
You can never accuse Casey Cresenzo of being a lazy ass songwriter. On his latest piece, the dude started writing, and writing, and writing...36 songs to be exact. Rather than whittle them down, he created a concept album consisting of nine EP's, with four songs per EP. Each is represented by a corresponding color, and accordingly sound completely different from each other. It's one of the most ambitious albums I've heard in a while.
Highlights: Deny It All (Red), The Canopy (Green), Mr. Malum (Violet)

1. The Head and the Heart – The Head and the Heart
From the moment I heard this album, I was instantly drawn to its sound. The grass roots feel. The catchy rhythms. Everything just seemed to work. It made me want to drink rye whiskey and jump a freight train outta town. I know there are quite a few haters on this album *cough Pitchfork cough* but screw it. Albums connect to us in one way or another for whatever reason, and this one will be a favorite of mine for quite some time to come.
Highlights: Down In The Valley, Lost In My Mind, Sounds Like Hallelujah

If you happen to have never heard of some of these albums or artists, I highly suggest giving them a listen. Me thinks you'll like. Here's looking forward to another amazing year in music. I can't wait to hear what's to come.

Sucker Punch > Every movie ever made in the history of the world...ever

2011-02-23T11:50:00.007-06:00

Jesus. H. Christ. This movie is going to be.... ridiculous. To say it's going to be over-the-top would be doing it injustice. Watching this film may be the highlight of my inner child's hopes and dreams. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be giving high fives to my 8 year-old self.

Radiohead :: Lotus Flower

2011-02-18T14:18:00.006-06:00

The world is once again set right now that Radiohead recently announced that they're releasing their brand new album, The King of Limbs, to the masses immediately. And rightly so, here's the debut video for the first single, Lotus Flower. It features lead singer Thom Yorke being all...well, Thom Yorke-y.

Honey Badger Don't Give A Shit!

2011-02-11T14:39:00.002-06:00

Genius. Absolute genius. Meet Randall and his Wild Wild World of Animals. If National Geographic doesn't immediately hire this guy to start narrating all of their nature shows, they're idiots. I would watch snails migrate a hundred miles as long as this guy was narrating it. More exciting takes on our crazy ass world of animals after the jump.

Sleigh Bells :: Rill Rill

2011-02-04T10:53:00.004-06:00

Since most of the country is snowed in, why not kick back and enjoy the new video for Sleigh Bells' awesome single Rill Rill? No one knows what the hell is going on, and honestly, who cares?

Every Man's Guide to Life

2011-01-21T16:56:00.003-06:00

For those of you who haven't given the show Parks and Recreation a chance, do yourself a favor and do so. It has one of the best casts on TV right now, and consistently produces smart writing and big laughs. One of the biggest standouts, and my personal fav, is the character of Ron Swanson, played by Nick Offerman. This man truly gets me. In the season premiere last night, he debuted his guide for living, and let me tell you, I intend to live by it daily. For a closer look, go here. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some facial hair to grow, scotch to drink and skim milk to pour down the drain.

Happy Friday from Celery Man

2011-01-07T14:48:00.007-06:00

Many of you know about my undying love for Celery Man, and if so, you'll understand why this is the greatest thing you'll see this weekend. If you don't know what I'm talking about, do yourself a favor, scroll down a couple of entries and find out for yourself. Just avoid the nude Tayne.

2010-12-23T10:34:00.022-06:00

Hey-yooooo! Guess who's back? This guy! I know, I know...I've been seriously slacking in my blogging duties, but back off! This year's been pretty busy for yours truly, including getting married, road trips for work and being trapped in a Chilean mine for months. Okay, so maybe that last one was a bit of a stretch, but just because this is only my fourth post of the year doesn't mean it can't be a doozy of one. The "Top 20" post is a must every year, and 2010 saw some fantastic releases by both newbies on the scene and veterans we've grown to love. So with that, I give you my top twenty of the year:

20. The Golden Filter – Voluspa
This New York electronic duo produces an ethereal sound unlike any other. Unique, pulsing drum beats, string samples and lead singer Penelope Trappes' haunting voice make this an album worth getting freaky too. If Heaven ever had a dance mix, this would be it.
Highlights: Dance Around the Fire, Look Me In the Eye, Stardust

19. Parlor Hawk – Hoarse & Roaring
This folk rock group out of Utah came out of nowhere, and absolutely blew me away with their sound. The poetic lyrics and beautifully composed melodies make this one of those albums you want to get lost in.
Highlights: Home, Every Bone, Flowers

18. Ratatat – Lp4
What can you really say about this duo? Talented musicians? Yep. Catchy as shit tunes? You bet. The perfect party music? You bet your ass it is. No one does ass-shaking, face melting instrumental jams like these guys. Ratatat, we thank you.
Highlights: Drugs, Neckbrace, Bob Gandhi

17. Cee Lo Green – The Lady Killer
Only Cee Lo Green could make something that exudes 60's era funk and soul so well that you can't help but smile when you hear it. Is it that voice? Those beats? Who cares. This album is so slick and smooth that after listening to it, you might feel like you just got knocked up.
Highlights: Bright Lights Bigger City, Fuck You, It's OK

16. Fitz & The Tantrums – Pickin' Up The Pieces
Following on Cee Lo's ode to the oldies, Fitz & The Tantrums bring the classic Motown sound in a big way. With their soul/funk/rock sound and pitch perfect harmonies, you could swear you were listening to the new Tom Jones album.
Highlights: Breakin' The Chains of Love, Dear Mr. President, Winds of Change

15. Mumford & Sons – Sigh No More
This folk rock group from London, England has been garnering tons of attention and accolades, and it's clear why. Each song takes on a life of its own, building and building until they take off and soar. It's pretty obvious these guys will have quite a career ahead of them.
Highlights: The Cave, Winter Winds, Awake My Soul

14. Kid Cudi – Man on the Moon II: The Legend of Mr. Rager
One of the most creative and talented guys on the hip hop scene right now, Cudi doesn't just push the boundaries, he pretty much tears them down. Encompassing different styles of music and themes, with plenty of help from some of the indie scene's stars, Kid Cudi continues to dominate.
Highlights: Scott Mescudi vs. The World, REVOFEV, Erase Me

13. Broken Bells – Broken Bells
Can Danger Mouse do anything that isn't successful? Brian Burton, aka super producer Danger Mouse and James Mercer, the lead singer of indie darlings The Shins have teamed up for an unexpectedly fantastic album, with hooks and beats you want to hear over and over again.
Highlights: The High Road, Vaporize, The Ghost Inside

12. Yeasayer – Odd Blood
With their previous release, we heard a sound that was vaguely tribal and organic, yet pulsed with a beat that made you nod your head with joy. Odd Blood does that and then some with, dare I say, even catchier hooks and beats. Is it possible? Listen for yourself.
Highlights: Ambling Alp, Madder Red, I Remember

11. Interpol – Interpol
These veterans on the indie scene may have outdone themselves on this release. Lead singer Paul Banks' voice is as good as ever, and the band, with new members making their presence heard, have crafted an exceptional album. Harkening back to their roots, that dark, droning sound so many of us have grown to love is ever present.
Highlights: Success, Summer Well, Lights

10. The Walkmen – Lisbon
Another stellar release by these indie darlings, Lisbon flows with a dreamy quality. Hamilton Leithauser's voice is as strained and powerful as always. Conceptualized over a lengthy stay in Portugal, the album evokes all of the energy and tone that one could discover in a town like Lisbon.
Highlights: Angela Surf City, Blue As Your Blood, Victory

9. The National – High Violet
Can this group release anything that's not a hit? So far it looks like they're incapable of it, which is a very good thing. With their brand of sleepy, dream-like music and insightful lyrics, they've once again claimed accolades from all over the music industry, and rightly so.
Highlights: Terrible Love, Bloodbuzz Ohio, Runaway

8. Girl Talk – All Day
Gregg Gillis, aka DJ Girl Talk, has done it again. This master of the mashup has constructed the catchiest damn album around. If you don't want to jump on a dance floor and bust a move while listening to this, you may not have a soul. Who else can successfully mix Portishead and Outkast into one seamless song that works on every level?
Highlights: Let It Out, Jump On Stage, Make Me Wanna

7. Arcade Fire – The Suburbs
Ah yes. What year end "Top Albums" list would be complete without the darlings of the indie music world amongst the highlights? That is, IF they've released an album that year. Luckily, this year we were graced with yet another classic in the making, and it has everything you could ever ask for, including soaring vocals set amidst their brand of richly layered instrumentals. What's not to like?
Highlights: The Suburbs, Ready To Start, We Used To Wait

6. Kanye West – My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy
Okay. You're right. Yes, he's an ass. Yes, he's a self-absorbed douche. But dammit, if you don't agree this man is a master at his craft, then we have nothing left to talk about. With some of the most creative, influential and groundbreaking hip-hop being made today, Yeezy truly begins to shape not only a genre, but an entire movement in music.
Highlights: POWER, Monster, Runaway

5. Local Natives – Gorilla Manor
This Cali indie band debuted this year to a huge response. With hyperactive percussion and hooky-as-all-hell melodies and vocals, this group of guys took the indie music scene over like a firestorm. Not to mention they can totally kill it when performing live. We can only hope we're graced with even finer things to come.
Highlights: Airplanes, World News, Stranger Things

4. The Black Keys – Brothers
This is a review of the album Brothers by The Black Keys. The consensus of this review is that the album is very, very good.
Highlights: Everlasting Light, Tighten' Up, The Only One

3. Sleigh Bells – Treats
If I had to sum up this duo's debut album in one word, it would simple be *$@&%. Based in Brooklyn, NY, songwriter/guitarist/producer Derek Miller and vocalist Alexis Krauss have created the most amazing piece of joyous noise pop ever heard. From the first note on the album to the epic ending, it's an onslaught of pure excitement to the ear.
Highlights: Tell 'Em, Riot Rhythm, Rill Rill

2. The Tallest Man on Earth – The Wild Hunt
The moniker of Swedish folk musician Kristian Matsson, The Tallest Man on Earth completely owns with little more than his voice and a guitar. Echoing the sounds of early Dylan with introspective lyrics and a mastery of the guitar to boot, this guy truly does stand tall amongst his fellow folk musicians.
Highlights: The Wild Hunt, Burden of Tomorrow, You're Going Back

1. Beach House – Teen Dream
My numero uno album of the year has to be Teen Dream. This duo's previous albums have been stellar, but their most recent is by far their best to date. With their signature hazy dream pop sounds and singer Victoria Legrand's haunting, atmospheric lyrics and rhythm, one can't help but be instantly taken away.
Highlights: Zebra, Used To Be, 10 Mile Stereo

Well, there you have it. If you happen to have never heard of some of these albums or artists, I highly suggest giving them a listen. You just might be delightfully surprised. Here's looking forward to another amazing year in music.

I'm Back, Bitches!

2010-05-12T13:14:00.005-05:00

That's right, folks. I'm back from a very long break. Why? Because that's what getting married does to a man, that's why. I don't need to explain myself to you!

I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I love you all, and helping you waste time during your day is what keeps me going. So on that note, here's my new favorite clip from Tim and Eric Awesome Show. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go watch Celery Man and a nude Tayne have a dance off.

You Got Served!

2010-02-17T15:57:00.002-06:00

I have no idea how this even came about, and I don't care. Predators are poppin' and lockin', and then in walks Danny Glover to get down with his bad self. These guys could clearly stomp the yard if provoked. P-Boys for life, yo!

Jay-Z :: On To The Next One

2010-01-05T15:30:00.002-06:00

Jay-Z's new video for "On To The Next One" might just be the dopest video I've seen in awhile. It takes the hip hop video genre into a whole new realm, with stark black and white images coming at you in groups of 3's. Was that a crystal skull getting doused in black paint? A sneaker overflowing with white paint? A dude vaguely resembling the Joker? 3 bullets? 3 milk jars? What the fuck is going on? Is it high concept art? You bet your ass it is. Hova, we salute you.

2009-12-23T13:15:00.025-06:00

Has it really been a year? It still feels like yesterday that I was compiling my best of 2008. But what can you really say about the music of 2009? There were some definite hits, and some pretty awful ones too. In a year that took from us the King of Pop yet gave us Beatles Rock Band, we all experienced this year of music in our own way. And what better way to sum it all up than to do the quintessential year end round up of great albums! These are the top 20 that really stood out for me, and made this year's soundtrack very, very listenable.

20. Blakroc – Blakroc
Even though this album was very recently released, you can tell from the first few songs that this isn't just any old hip-hop album. An 11 day collaboration between the Black Keys and various hip hop artists such as Mos Def, Q-tip, RZA and Raekwon, its beats and lyrics make anyone within earshot take notice.
Highlights: Ain't Nothing Like You (Hoochie Coo), Dollaz & Sense, What You Do To Me

19. Girls – Album
A fantastic, lo-fi pop album that makes you wanna grab a six pack and your surf board and relax on the beach all day. This is how pop music should be.
Highlights: Hellhole Ratrace, Laura, Lust For Life

18. St. Vincent – Actor
Not only can she sing with a subtle beauty that few possess, but she can shred like a madwoman on guitar as well. With pixie-ish beauty to boot, Annie Clark, aka St. Vincent, is a force to be reckoned with. Her follow up to the awesome Marry Me doesn't disappoint.
Highlights: Actor Out Of Work, Black Rainbow, The Party

17. Discovery – LP
What started off as a side project from Vampire Weekend's keyboardist Rostam Batmanglij and Ra Ra Riot lead vocalist Wes Miles has slowly turned into a full-time gig of sorts. With songs like these, they don't have to quit their day jobs, but it certainly couldn't hurt.
Highlights: Can You Discover?, Osaka Loop Line, I Want You Back

16. The pAper chAse – Someday This Could All Be Yours Vol. 1
To truly grasp this band's musical genius, one only needs to appreciate the dysfunction of our society, and then imagine that interpreted into sounds. Yes it may creep the living shit out of you, but you'll be tapping your toes and enjoying every minute of it.
Highlights: I'm Going to Heaven With or Without You (The Forest Fire), The Laying of Hands, The Speaking in Tongues (The Mass Hysteria), The Common Cold (The Epidemic)

15. Neon Indian – Psychic Chasms
Another side project which has developed a life of its own, Neon Indian is the brainchild of musical do-it-all Alan Palomo. What started out as a few songs released on the internet has turned into an electronic music phenomenon, garnering attention from all over the globe.
Highlights: Deadbeat Summer, Terminally Chill, Should Have Taken Acid With You

14. The Mars Volta – Octahedron
The Mars Volta are one of those polarizing bands that people can't quite figure out. You either love them fanatically, or you simply can't stand their progressive style of music. I for one recognize their genius, and in their latest offering, they've decided to get back to doing what they do best: Eclectically rocking your face off.
Highlights: Since We've Been Wrong, Teflon, With Twilight As My Guide

13. Fanfarlo – Reservoir
This little album snuck up on me out of nowhere, and man did it ever impress. Led by Swedish vocalist Simon Balthazar, Fanfarlo sounds like an indie stew made up of equal parts Beirut, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah and Arcade Fire. If that sounds tasty, it's because it is.
Highlights: The Walls Are Coming Down, I'm A Pilot, Comets

12. jj – jj N˚2
Another Swedish band to come out of the gates with a surprising release is jj. Not so much for their lo-fi blend of Afro-pop and electronica, which is fantastic, but for the fact that no one knows a thing about them, including who is in the band or where they're located. Seriously. Look it up.
Highlights: Things Will Never Be The Same Again, From Africa To Málaga, Masterplan

11. Passion Pit – Manners
You would be hard pressed to not have heard at least one song by this group in the past year. With their catchy dance beats and infectious vocals, these fellas from Cambridge, Mass. should be rocking crowds for quite some time to come.
Highlights: Little Secrets, Sleepyhead, Eyes Like Candles

10. Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros – Self-Titled
What looks like a rag-tag band of hippies and gypsies is, well, a rag-tag band of hippies and gypsies. But they also happen to be a band of merry music makers to boot, with a sound that could fit in the 60's just as easily as today. And on that note, flip that record and light another one up.
Highlights: Janglin', Carries On, Home

9. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – It's Blitz!
Karen O and her boys are back this year, and they're out to make you get up and dance your ass off. With a collection of rocking dance tunes and catchy sing-alongs, they're not looking to relinquish their hold on you anytime soon.
Highlights: Zero, Heads Will Roll, Hysteric

8. Blind Pilot – 3 Rounds And A Sound
Originally released in 2008 to little fanfare, their debut album was re-released in 2009 to a larger audience. With unbelievably catchy, heartfelt lyrics and an unplugged, grassroots sound, these Oregon natives are finally taking off into clear skies.
Highlights: The Story I Heard, One Red Thread, 3 Rounds And A Sound

7. The Avett Brothers – I And Love And You
Hailing from North Carolina, Scott and Seth Avett have it figured out. Along with their bud Bob, these 3 guys produce some of the catchiest Americana-style music out there, with lyrics that put most songwriters to shame. If you see a year end list that doesn't feature this album, it's probably wasn't compiled by a music lover.
Highlights: I And Love And You, January Wedding, And It Spread

6. Phoenix – Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix
Phoenix really has it all. Clever, if not sometimes nonsensical lyrics, catchy hooks, driving beats, all held together with that unmistakable voice. Another highly used album in all forms of advertising this year, these Frenchmen left us dancing in the aisles with smiles from ear to ear.
Highlights: Lisztomania, 1901, Lasso

5. Dan Auerbach – Keep It Hid
As the lead singer of The Black Keys, Dan Auerbach unleashes his powerful mastery of bluesy rock and roll to the masses. But with this solo album, he has a chance to really showcase his ability as a songwriter and true master of his craft. With a full backing band behind him, you can't help but feel the music in your soul.
Highlights: I Want Some More, When The Night Comes, The Prowl

4. KiD CuDi – Man On The Moon: The End Of Day
One of the few MC's that's actually impressed me in quite some time, Kid Cudi is on the verge of major stardom. With smart and original rhymes and beats, along with some fantastic collaborations with both Ratatat and MGMT, this is one hip-hop album that has legs to last for awhile.
Highlights: Soundtrack 2 My Life, Day N Nite, Pursuit of Happiness

3. The Dear Hunter – Act III: Life and Death
This may be one of the only albums to come out this year that I honestly can put in and listen to from beginning to end and truly be amazed. That's a good thing, considering it's only the third act in a six part concept album, based around the story of a 20th century boys birth, life and eventual death. Epic in scope? Very. Epic in sound. You bet your ass.
Highlights: In Cauda Venenum, The Tank, Saved

2. Grizzly Bear – Veckatimest
Can these guys make an album that isn't going to be regarded as beautiful in scope and visionary in nature? Didn't think so. Once again, Grizzly Bear construct a fantastic example of how music should sound. Ethereal and haunting, this is one for the ages.
Highlights: Two Weeks, Cheerleader, While You Wait For The Others

1. Animal Collective – Merriweather Post Pavilion
Holy hell, what an album! For something that literally came out at the beginning of 2009, it damn sure never let go of it's hold of the number one spot this year. With ass-shaking catchy beats, carefree lyrics and a generally upbeat attitude throughout, it has gone on to become not only the best album of this year, but quite possibly a landmark album of this decade. Yeah, I went there.
Highlights: My Girls, Summertime Clothes, Brother Sport

And there you have it. Here's to a another great year in music, and great expectations for 2010!

Happy listening.

KiD CuDi feat. Ratatat - Pursuit Of Happiness

2009-12-10T09:41:00.002-06:00

Here's the new video from KiD CuDi feat. Ratatat for the single Pursuit of Happiness. Be warned: This video could melt your face off. And in case you're wondering, yes, this is how every one of my parties goes down.

Happy In Paraguay

2009-12-04T16:32:00.002-06:00

God, this is genius. If you don't at least cry a little bit while watching this, you can just keep right on surfing, buddy. We probably wouldn't get along very well anyways.

Let's Start The Holidays Right

2009-12-01T13:02:00.002-06:00

Yeah, yeah...I know it's been a while, but hell...I've just been waiting for my favorite pumpkin-head man to return with some fresh new dance moves and get me into the holiday spirit. And boy howdy, did he ever.

Happy Halloween!

2009-10-30T12:28:00.001-05:00

If this little ditty doesn't get you in the mood for some Halloween hijinks, then just keep on surfing, friends. This site is not for you.

Let The Wild Rumpus Start!

2009-10-16T11:25:00.003-05:00

Shit yeah...it's about damn time! Today is a very good day, folks. Where The Wild Things Are finally makes it long-awaited premiere in theaters, and I for one am completely and utterly stoked. If you haven't read this book at least 20 times by now, do yourself a favor and take the 2 minutes and 38 seconds to read this book. It's 10 lines of copy, people. But dammit, if those 10 lines aren't some of the best shit ever written, I don't know what is. It makes anything by Judy Blume look like Ulysses. I can't even imagine how great this flick is with Spike Jonze and Dave Eggers on board. And for all those parents who think the film is too dark and frightening for their children, heed this advice from Maurice Sendak, the book's author - "Go to hell." Nicely done, sir. Now, where's my wolf suit and crown?

You've Been Warned

2009-09-29T14:16:00.004-05:00

Here's 11 tips you should always remember about pederasses. Be careful out there, and watch out for potential traps. Or else I'll kill your dog.

Ladies, You're In For A Treat

2009-09-21T13:01:00.003-05:00

Damn! I don't know how any of you ladies out there won't get at least a little hot and bothered by this video. The lineup of studs gathered here is enough to make even the most picky of women swoon in ecstasy. I mean, it's not everyday a viking comes knocking down your door for a date now, is it?

The Worst Way To End Your Week

2009-09-18T16:36:00.003-05:00

Normally, I like to end the week on a positive note. You can't help but feel good heading into the weekend. But holy Christ, I just had to bring everyone down with this little diddy right here. The musical genius behind this one here is none other than Tom O'C, or you're run-of-the-mill typical douchebag. The fact that he even thinks this is remotely in the area of being listenable is beyond me. Hey maestro, auto-tuning a rambling, incoherent piece of shit does not make you the next T-Pain. 2-Pac must be rolling over in his grave right now.

The Greatest Show On TV Is Back!

2009-09-17T16:52:00.003-05:00

That's right, my fine friends. The one show to bring me out of my blogging slump is finally back, and it's about damn time. It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia is back on FX tonight, and bringing with it all of the depraved, senseless and downright fucking hilarious hijinks I've come to love. I need to laugh at something more than shit like 2 and Half Men and Jay Leno's lame ass attempt at humor. Give me Charlie whacked out of his gourd decked out as Green Man. Give me Dennis and Mac attempting to scheme their way into money and/or women. Give me Sweet Dee getting shit on by the guys and Frank drunk as shit, hairpiece and all. It truly is a wondrous time, people.

Really?

2009-08-18T12:59:00.002-05:00

Guuuuuuhhhhhh.... I'm sorry cat people of the world, but this is whole new level of crazy. Cat massage? Really? And you wonder why I can't stand cats. If anyone needs me, I'll be over here wanking it dismissively.

The Most Disturbing Thing You'll See All Day

2009-08-04T13:03:00.004-05:00

That's right, folks. It took this one video to break my lengthy slump of entries. Words can't even begin to describe what the fuck is going on in this video. This hits an all new plane of "Whaaa?" While you're watching this, just remember this one thing: Brrrreeeeaaaathheeeeee

Yeah Yeah Yeahs :: Heads Will Roll

2009-07-08T13:11:00.003-05:00

Here's the new video for "Heads Will Roll" from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs new album It's Blitz! Interestingly enough, it's quite timely considering a certain someone's very famous death. This video exudes awesomeness. It screams homages to MJ's Thriller throughout, and is very creatively done. Not to mention the song rocks ass on the dancefloor. Kudos once again you oddly entertaining, weird and fantastic hipsters, you. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go wolf-out now.

The King Has Fallen

2009-06-26T13:52:00.005-05:00

This is history in the making, folks. The King of Pop, Michael Jackson, dead at the age of 50 from cardiac arrest. It's surprising, yet it's not. It's just really fucking sad. Say what you will about all his craziness, not to mention all the accusations of pedophilia and shit, the man is a legend. He's this generation's Elvis. I don't know if he did or didn't do the crimes he was accused of, but you cannot dispute that this man single-handedly changed the landscape of music as it stands today. He practically made MTV! He's gone platinum more times than most groups could ever dream. The dude broke boundaries everywhere. I don't give a shit if you were black, white, brown, rich, poor, male or female...you knew his tunes, and they rocked the house. Sure he was a whack job, but I honestly believe he didn't realize what we all saw as the actions of a sick man was just that. I don't think the guy ever really grew up. He was lonely, broken down and no more than a shell of the legend he became over the years. There's no telling what sort of details will come to light now that the facts are being gathered around his death, but the fact remains the throne in the world of music sits empty now. Below I've included a classic live performance from 1987 of his hit "Thriller". Tell me that man didn't know how to entertain a crowd. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go blast "Rock With You" as loud as I can.

St. Vincent Is Good At Music

2009-06-19T16:53:00.003-05:00

The lovely Annie Clark, aka St. Vincent, played to a hushed and thoroughly awed crowd last night in Dallas, proving once again that she's pretty good at this whole music thing. Playing hits such as "Marry Me" and a kick ass solo version of "Paris Is Burning", as well as new hits "Actor Out Of Work" and the slowly building raucous jam "Black Rainbow", it was a night sure to please for everyone in attendance.
She's like that cute, quirky, artsy chick you knew in high school - the one that you weren't too sure about because she was always sitting by herself at lunch writing sonnets or some shit, but something about her was so mesmerizing. With those looks and that voice, combined with her shreddin' skills on the guitar, you can't help but have a little crush on her. Unless you're attracted to lazy trolls who play the clarinet, in which case I don't want to be around you. Ever. That's just gross.

Predator...Is...FABULOUS!

2009-06-18T09:34:00.004-05:00

Who doesn't love the classic flick Predator? Now take that film, add a little Wham!, some lube and a few bitch-slaps and what do you get? Cinema gold, my friends. Cinema fucking gold!

Grizzly Bear Pwns Dallas

2009-06-16T14:42:00.003-05:00

Sorry to disappoint, but no one was seriously maimed, unless you count some dirty hipster minds being completely blown by awesomeness. Grizzly Bear played Dallas last night, and once again dazzled the fucking shit out of the crowd. Their brand of indie rock jams, combined with the Granada's consistently phenomenal sound system (ed. note: suck on that, Crystal Castles!) made for one hell of a show. New hits such as "Two Weeks" and "Cheerleader" were met with as much applause as fan favorites "Knife" and "Little Brother". I have to say, it sure was nice night to be aurally mauled.

Grizzly Bear :: Two Weeks

2009-05-26T12:36:00.007-05:00

Yeah, so it's been a while since I've posted anything, but what better way to get back into the swing of things than with Grizzly Bear's new video for their first single "Two Weeks", off of the brand new album Veckatimest? Sparkly, exploding heads and all.

The Slap Chop Remix

2009-04-30T13:05:00.001-05:00

Vince is breaking it down and coming correct these days. Who needs hookers when you got funk?

Furniture + Race = Advertising Genius

2009-04-23T15:09:00.005-05:00

Now THIS is advertising. What in the hell have I been doing with the past 6 years of my life? I now see the errors of my way in this industry. The Red House Furniture Store obviously figured it out. Great furniture, at a great price, for a rainbow coalition of people! It just sells itself.

St. Vincent :: Actor Out Of Work

2009-04-10T11:20:00.003-05:00

Here's the new video from St. Vincent for "Actor Out Of Work", off of her upcoming album Actor, out May 5. I can't wait for this album. My pee-pee can't wait for this album. If you haven't heard of Annie Clark, aka St. Vincent yet, there's a very good possibility that may change in the upcoming year. I'm telling you, everything about her is great. And that's not just the crush talking. Baby, if you happen to be reading this, know that this woman would be one of my only choices for a filthy celebrity hookup. You have Batman, I have St. Vincent. Learn to play guitar and sing like this woman, and she's off the list. Just so you know.

This Is How Babies Are Made

2009-03-27T09:12:00.003-05:00

Caution: Sitting too close to your computer while watching this could result in unexpected pregnancies.

Where The Wild Things Are Trailer!

2009-03-25T17:01:00.003-05:00

Set the nerdgasm to 11 folks! Today the trailer for the Spike Jonze directed/Dave Eggers adapted film Where The Wild Things Are premiered, and let me just say...HOLY CRAP, HOLY CRAP, HOLY CRAP. It has everything you could ask for in a film this daunting to take on. And with Arcade Fire gracing the trailer with a new mix of their hit "Wake Up", well, let's just say I need to change my pants immediately. This looks incredible. Who doesn't remember reading this story when they were a kid? If you DO happen to be one of the few who didn't, just go do everyone a favor and either pick the book up, take a half hour to read it and enrich your ass or just go stand in traffic, preferably very heavy, highly volatile traffic.

Department Of Eagles :: No One Does It Like You

2009-03-25T12:04:00.002-05:00

Here's the new video for Department of Eagle's first single, "No One Does It Like You". Here's how they came up with the concept: People in creepy masks + muted colors + oddly entertaining dance numbers + gratuitous violence = hipster gold. Cut and print!

Funky Fresh Beats

2009-03-17T09:59:00.003-05:00

This site is awesome. For those that can't get enough of the sounds of Wham, Duran Duran and other cheese dick 80's bands, this site is for you.

Happy St. Paddy's Day

2009-03-17T09:09:00.002-05:00

To all you drunk, foul-mouthed sons-a-bitches who call yourselves Irish or just pretend to be, here's to you! Slàinte Mhath!

Kenny Powers: Back On Top

2009-03-13T16:42:00.002-05:00

That's right, motherfuckers. Kenny Powers is coming back in a big way. If you need more proof that Mr. Powers isn't the single greatest player the game of baseball has ever seen, then we just can't be friends. He's fucking in. You're out.

Prepare To Engage

2009-03-13T13:31:00.003-05:00

So, it's been a full week since I popped the question to this chick. Only 51 more weeks to go till she makes an honest man out of me.

Happy Birthday, Mr. Norris

2009-03-11T09:56:00.002-05:00

In honor of THE Chuck Norris turning 69 the other day, which in my estimation makes him around 18 years old in human years, I've decided to show Chuck Norris in one of his most awesome moments - in hand-to-hand combat with a fucking bear. Now granted, I know Mr. Norris has faced far greater odds in his lifetime, but this little scuffle just goes to show you DO NOT FUCK WITH CHUCK! When that bearded, 69 year-old badass stares you down, there's really no challenge. Just get yourself out of that situation as quickly as you can. Hey, wait a sec...Chuck got 69'd. Heh heh heh heh.... (I think I peed a little.)

Screw Pixar

2009-02-18T08:45:00.006-06:00

Skanks and skeezes, I give you Cool Court, starring Nachos the Cross-Eyed Cat. This little animated nugget of joy just may be the best damn thing to hit the internet in quite a while. Why you ask? Well, sit back and enjoy this masterpiece and then just try not humming the catchiest damn ditty you'll hear all year. If the line "...now bend over, girl, and use yo' titties like a broom" doesn't take off as the most oft quoted song lyric this season, then my faith in humanity will truly be lost.

[ Via: Sick Animation - Check the site out for more instant classics ]

Happy President's Day

2009-02-16T23:00:00.001-06:00

The Big 3-0 Cometh Today

2009-02-11T09:54:00.002-06:00

Who said turning 30 sucks? It's a celebration, bitches.

Creed: Rock Music At Its Finest

2009-02-09T13:05:00.002-06:00

Who knew Creed was so adept at making insightful, soaring and visceral music for a generation to admire? This guy!

Carl's Superbowl Tips

2009-01-30T08:10:00.004-06:00

Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force loves him some football. This year's Superbowl is another matter however. Here are some of his over and under tips for all you wheelin' and dealin' gamblers out there. Believe me, the man knows his stuff.

Animal Collective :: My Girls

2009-01-27T22:32:00.002-06:00

This is the video for Animal Collective's first single "My Girls" off of their incredibly awesome new album, Merriweather Post Pavilion. Check it out, but be sure to ingest plenty of hallucinatory drugs before doing so.

Man Of The Day

2009-01-23T16:52:00.002-06:00

Do not EVER...I repeat...EVER, try and hug this man. Unless you're into that sort of thing.

A Message From Our Leader,

2009-01-20T15:19:00.001-06:00

Boosh.

Animal Collective :: Merriweather Post Pavilion

2009-01-14T11:42:00.010-06:00

As a person who loves music and all of its many forms, I enjoy seeing musicians push their limits and explore the sounds with which they play in. The new Animal Collective release, Merriweather Post Pavilion, is a prime example of this melodic carnival. As in past releases, this quartet of avant garde musicians once again create a world all to its own, experimenting with a range of diverse sounds and beats. The difference in this album from their previous efforts however is the sheer “catchiness” of the album as a whole. It seamlessly flows from beginning to end, taking on an almost organic aesthetic. From the thumping “My Girls” with its hand claps and carefree vocals to the dreamlike quality of “Bluish” and its gorgeous use of keyboards and synthesizers. “Guys Eyes” takes on a tribal feel, while “Lion In A Coma” makes prominent use of the didgeridoo, the infamous instrument of the Aboriginal tribes of Australia. Do yourself a favor and be sure to check this one out. 2009 may have just begun, but I have no doubt that this album will most certainly be on many “best of ” list’s by year’s end.

Just What I Thought

2009-01-12T11:15:00.003-06:00

Even Robocop can't contain the craving. Just try and let the ED-209 stop him. Ain't gonna happen.

Art At Its Finest

2009-01-08T15:32:00.001-06:00

There's just no words that do this justice.

Man Of The Day

2008-12-24T12:51:00.004-06:00

Rebel Indian yell? Check. Missing teeth due to freak chainsaw accident? Check. Can catch snapping turtles in the blink of an eye? Double check. Ladies and gents, I give you the one and only Ernie Brown Jr., aka "The Turtle Man". He has the distinction of becoming today's Man Of The Day. A tip of the cap to you, good sir.

Say cheee...OMG, I just crapped myself.

2008-12-23T10:57:00.005-06:00

If this site featuring some of the best rollercoaster souvenir photos ever taken doesn't convince you that these steel monsters are some of the most fun you can have, then I don't want to be friends with you. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go eat a huge lunch and hit the rides.

2008-12-13T12:20:00.027-06:00

Well, for those that don't know, I recently compiled my Top 20 albums of 2008 and posted it on here, but for some reason the dirty Record Industry of America thought that my willingness to share with everyone fantastic music was the most heinous of crimes and should be dealt with swiftly. With each album I place on the list, I always do a small review and include my top 3 favorite songs, one of which is linked so guests can listen and decide for themselves. I guess they deemed me a dirty rotten pirate for doing this, which is impossible considering my innate skills as a ninjutsu master.
Anywho, Blogger decided to pull my blog and discard of any and all traces of it, forcing me to once again post it. However, due to the long hours it took me to do it last time, I've decided to skip the reviews and just include my 3 favorites WITHOUT the links. So, hopefully you all can check them out on your own time. There are some really stellar albums on here, so without further ado, I give you Sterephonic Zoology's Top 20 albums of 2008:

20. Santogold – Santogold
Highlights: You'll Find A Way, Say Aha, Lights Out

19. Mates of State – Re-Arrange Us
Highlights: Get Better, The Re-Arranger, Blue and Gold Print

18. Beach House – Devotion
Highlights: Wedding Bell, Gila, Heart of Chambers

17. The Cool Kids – Bake Sale
Highlights: Mikey Rocks, 88, A Little Bit Cooler

16. Okkervil River – The Stand-Ins
Highlights: Lost Coastlines, Singer Songwriter, On Tour With Zykos

15. Little Joy – Little Joy
Highlights: The Next Time Around, No One's Better Sake, Shoulder to Shoulder

14. Calexico – Carried To Dust
Highlights: Victor Jara's Hands, The News About William, House of Valparaiso

13. Blitzen Trapper – Furr
Highlights: Furr, God & Suicide, Black River Killer

12. Horse Feathers – House With No Home
Highlights: Curs In The Weeds, Working Poor, Heathen's Kiss

11. MGMT – Oracular Spectacular
Highlights: Time To Pretend, Electric Feet, Kids

10. Kings Of Leon – Only By The Night
Highlights: Closer, Sex On Fire, Revelry

9. Frightened Rabbit – The Midnight Organ Fight
Highlights: The Modern Leper, The Twist, Poke

8. Department Of Eagles – In Ear Park
Highlights: No One Does It Like You, Around The Bay, Waves of Rye

7. The Walkmen – You & Me
Highlights: In The New Year, Red Moon, Four Provinces

6. Bon Iver – For Emma, Forever Ago
Highlights: Flume, Skinny Love, For Emma

5. The Mars Volta – The Bedlam In Goliath
Highlights: Ilyena, Wax Simulacra, Goliath

4. Sigur Rós – Með Suð í Eyrum Við Spilum Endalaust
Highlights: Gobbledigook, Festival, Med Sud í Eyrum

3. Vampire Weekend – Vampire Weekend
Highlights: Oxford Comma, A-Punk, Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa

2. TV On The Radio – Dear Science
Highlights: Halfway Home, Family Tree, Love Dog

1. Fleet Foxes – Fleet Foxes
Highlights: White Winter Hymnal, Quiet Houses, Your Protector

And there you have it. Here's to a great year in music, and many more to come.

Happy listening.

Man Of The Day

2008-12-02T10:07:00.004-06:00

Okay, this shit just got real! I would have cried total bullshit on this story if it weren't for being the featured story on ABC News. That Charlie Gibson don't lie, man. The dude inhaled his own art by accident! How do you do that?!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go back to wasting my life looking up cheat codes for Guitar Hero and finding new ways to use bacon.

Black Dynamite > Any Other Film In History

2008-11-25T00:01:00.001-06:00

Holy Christ, I have to see this movie immediately. This is going to make Deathwish look like Deathwish 2.

Bike Hero

2008-11-19T13:51:00.004-06:00

In honor of the new Guitar Hero World Tour, I had to post this video. This is by far one of the coolest things I've seen in a while. This dude and his friends set up the entire tab of The Living End's Prisoner of Society physically on the ground, so that as he can follow the course on his bike, essentially playing the song. The lights on his handlebar light up in sequence to the path, similar to the game. It all makes sense once you start watching it. This may be another example of having way to much time on your hands, but damnit, I don't give a shit. Keep on keeping on I say.

In Honor Of Halloween

2008-10-30T13:14:00.003-05:00

Kids, this is what you can accomplish when you have way too much time on your hands. I give you a 64-track a cappella version of MJ's Halloween classic, Thriller. We can all only hope to aspire to this level.

TV On The Radio :: Live @ Lakewood Theater

2008-10-28T09:21:00.003-05:00

Recently I did a post on how unbelievably awesome the new TV On The Radio album was, but somehow, the little goblins that run the internet decided to fuck with my blog and took it down into their treasure trove along with unicorn tears and John McCain's heart. Regardless, I'm telling you now to go buy their new album, Dear Science, as soon as you can.
Now, as for THIS post, the gang rolls into Dallas to play the Lakewood Theater tonight, and yours truly will be trying to snake his way into the show. If you happen to be in the area, this wouldn't be a bad one to check out. Just pray the goblins aren't there to smuggle the band away too.

Just in case you need to get in the mood...

Halfway Home – mp3
Province – mp3

Not Good With The Ladies? Heed This Advice.

2008-10-27T12:57:00.003-05:00

Drink and smoke constantly. Works every time.

Ratatat :: Shempi

2008-10-01T09:26:00.002-05:00

Here's the new video for Ratatat's next single, Shempi. This slightly disturbing, thoroughly creepy mash-up of old ABBA videos is just the right touch for this song. This is right up there with their previous video for Mirando featuring clips from the movie Predator. Check them out.

Staying In Shape, The Jedi Way

2008-09-30T11:26:00.001-05:00

Finally, an exercise class I wouldn't mind joining. Where do I sign up?

Austin City Limits Music Festivalooza

2008-09-25T16:55:00.002-05:00

Well folks, I'm off again. But only for a short while. It's time once again for the annual pilgrimage to the home town for the Austin City Limits Music Festival. This year is looking pretty stellar so far, with bands such as the Mars Volta, Gnarls Barkley, Band of Horses, Vampire Weekend and Man Man making appearances. So, basically, my entire iPod will be in attendance. I'll be back next week, ready to fill you in on all the highlights. Now, where's my pipe and hackey?

Hellooooo Paris!

2008-09-09T23:58:00.004-05:00

Ah, yes...Paris, France! The land of outrageous wines, cheeses and body odors. Where naps and pretentiousness go hand-in-hand. The city that gave us french toast*, french fries*, french dips* and, uh....french kissing.*
Me and my gal are off to the "City of Lights" for a week of well-earned vacation, so back off. But don't worry. I'll be back to warping your fragile little minds before you know it.

Au Revoire

**Facts are more than likely not accurate due to the moronic nature of author.
Thank you. - Mgmt.

Happy Anniversary, Dude

2008-09-09T11:52:00.003-05:00

Today marks the 10th anniversary of the classic piece of cinema gold known as The Big Lebowski.
Can you believe it? 10 years? It feels like just yesterday, sitting in a movie theater in Lubbock, Texas, watching what was soon to become one of my all-time, Top 5 movies. With characters such as Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski, Walter Sobchak, Donny Kerabatsos and Jesus Quintana, not to mention Maude, Bunny, The Stranger, Jackie Treehorn and the Nihilists, one would have a hard time NOT enjoying themselves.
So, here's to you, Dude. Do your part, and watch this film in honor of the Coen brothers' genius. Unless you have league play, in which case, the dude must abide.

Shommer Shabbos.

Terminator vs. Robocop vs. Predator

2008-09-05T08:11:00.000-05:00

Editing is just awesome.

Today's Fitness For Life

2008-08-28T09:44:00.003-05:00

You deserve a Boogie Body. You ready?! Now here we go! Turn it up, turn it up, turn it down, turn it down, turn it up, turn it down, turn it up, turn it down....

Sexy People

2008-08-22T14:05:00.003-05:00

If you've got a hankerin' to check out some fine lookin' peeps, check out the blog Sexy People. It's outstanding in its simplicity. This makes me wanna go rolling up to the nearest Olan Mills sporting a sweet leisure suit and skeezy 'stache. Cheeeese!

Hipster Olympics Just As Engaging

2008-08-21T17:15:00.002-05:00

These dirty hipsters and their heir of superiority sure convey the true measure of the Olympic spirit. It's magical to watch.

Kermit Has Hit Rock Bottom

2008-08-15T10:48:00.007-05:00

It was bound to happen. With the Muppet Show finally being canceled in 1981, the cast had to go their separate ways, and many just drifted off into obscurity. Fozzie Bear attempted a somewhat successful stand-up career, but eventually resorted to doing voice over work for a local public access show in Des Moines, Iowa. Gonzo became a regular on Dutch reality show Stüpit Müpit, until being busted on charges of possessing inappropriate photos of children. Rowlf the Dog had a brief stint with the new wave rock band Devo, but was kicked out for artistic differences. Miss Piggy, was spotted in the 8 Mile district of Detroit turning tricks for crack in '88, but has since been spotted doing snuff films in Vegas under the guise Ivana Pork-a-lot. However, none was hit harder than the proverbial leader of the gang, Kermit the Frog.

After 5 years of super-stardom accompanied by a lifestyle of money, women and drugs, it all came crashing down. The icon was gone in a flash. Through the years, Kermie has made several attempts to stage a comeback, but each time, failure seems to rear its ugly head. To help with the catharsis on the matter, he's decided to put his anguish and pain into music, covering classic artist's material. An extensively trained musician, it's no surprise he's able to take these songs and transform them into something as powerful and raw as they sound.

Indeed, the tides may be turning for the old Frog, as life seems to be welcoming him back with open arms.

Check out his site for more songs and videos.

Creep - Radiohead (as covered by Kermit T. Frog)

Kanye An Olympic Champion

2008-08-12T09:24:00.002-05:00

Well, sort of. It's his new video for the single Champion, and the subject matter is quite fitting considering the Summer Games are going on. But damn if it doesn't feature puppets, and you know how much I love me some puppets.

Men Of The Day

2008-08-06T09:33:00.002-05:00

These dudes are, simply put, amazing. Their skill, finesse and technique at executing the perfect take down remains unparalleled.

Top 10 Greatest 80's Cartoon Villains

2008-08-05T15:04:00.004-05:00

As a child of the 80's, I grew up with some of the best TV programming a kid could ask for. From cheesy sitcoms to corny after-school specials, I was witness to a veritable cornucopia of trash. However, this may be witnessed in no greater a spectacle than the oh so glorious cartoons of my youth. Mesmerized as I was by the adventures and exploits of the heroes, something about those villains kept drawing me in. Was it the incredible costumes? The exaggerated accents? Or maybe it was their waaay over-the-top demeanor. Either way, those bastards kept me glued to the set day in and day out. These are the ten best at making bad look so fucking cool. I salute you.

10. Miles Mayhem – M.A.S.K.

A blatant ripoff of both G.I. Joe and Transformers, M.A.S.K. (Mobile Armored Strike Kommand) was simply a vehicle to help sell a line of toys marketed to kids in the mid-80's. Can you blame them? Shit, I would have bought a stick with a wad of gum stuck on it if you had animated it in 1984. Fittingly, I owned practically everything they sold in this line. Miles was the leader of V.E.N.O.M, (Vicious Evil Network Of Mayhem - I'm not even kidding), the force that stood against Matt Trakker and the rest of the M.A.S.K. crew. It probably didn't help that the guy looked like Mr. Belvedere, but he ran his shit tight, and no one fucked with the guy. For that, respect.

9. Baron Silas Greenback – Dangermouse

Probably one of the most hip and truly funny cartoons on air in the 80s, Dangermouse was way ahead of it's time. Basically a mouse that encompasses a secret agent, debonair lifestyle, Dangermouse's exploits were always plagued by the grotesque Baron Silas Greenback. An overweight toad of a, well, toad, Baron sounded like a 70 year-old, 2 pack-a-day smoker with some serious constipation. But oh was he ever so crafty, with his heinous sense of humor.

8. Shredder – Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

As leader of the Foot Clan, Shredder was a pretty bad mofo. As the sworn enemy of Splinter, a giant rat who also happens to be a ninjutsu master, he battles with Splinter's new apprentices daily - the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. A pretty imposing figure, it's odd that they would choose none other than Uncle Phil from the Fresh Prince of Bel Air to do the voice of Shredder, but damn if he doesn't instill some fear in a kid.

7. Venger – Dungeons & Dragons

Venger was evil incarnate. Plain and simple. Once son to the Dungeonmaster, he simply became the fallen one. That may help explain why he had one horn. I guess they wanted kids to watch cartoons, but not shit their pants at the site of Lucifer himself. Either way, with the voice of Peter Cullen (Optimus Prime's voice too) and the giant wings and kick ass black steed he rode, Venger was about as cool as they came.

6. Doctor Claw – Inspector Gadget

Alright. Without a doubt, the Doc had THE coolest voice of them all. That deep, gurgly growl haunted our dreams. And with his iron clad fist, he knew how to put the dread in his adversaries, not to mention his giggling, leering pussy M.A.D. cat. Any chance to smack that feline bitch around was time well spent I said. He could have had the face of a twelve year-old, but with a voice like that, the man must have had balls made of steel.

5. Gargamel – The Smurfs

Another cat owner who could bring on some serious shit with his shenanigans was Gargamel. This bad boy sorcerer's whole existence was to basically torment those little blue bastards. Eat them, torture them, use them in potions...it didn't matter to him. The only good Smurf was a dead Smurf. Shit, the dude even created a friggin' female version of a Smurf to bring ruin down upon their village, but leave it to good ol' fucking Papa Smurf to ruin Gargy's plans. With little help from his cat Azrael, it was Gargamel's persistence that made him special.

4. COBRA Command (COBRA Commander, Destro & Serpentor) – G.I. Joe

This entry comes in as a 3 way tie, due to the sheer fact that not one of these individuals was able to keep his shit together long enough to make it rain all over G.I. Joe's parade. Okay, so COBRA Commander may have been the REAL leader, but Destro was just about as efficient. An arms dealer and pretty bad guy himself, he would have loved to take over COBRA's command. But leave it to the Commander to bring in help and try and fashion a supreme emperor - Serpentor. Okay...so who's leading now? Who gives a shit? As long as COBRA's up to some shit, I'm happy.

3. Mumm-Ra – Thundercats

Who knew mummies could be so fucking sweet? This son of a bitch is completely out of his gourd. Laughing maniacally, slurring his words and ripping off his wrappings, he acts more like my old college dorm roommate after a weekend bender. With a foe this coo-coo, it's no doubt the Thundercats were dropping loads in their kitty litter at the sheer sight of this badass.

2. Skeletor – He-Man & the Masters of the Universe

Now we're talking. This here is the man, er...what's left of him. Skeletor is the shit. Call him what you will. Demon. Warlord. Evil Lord of Destruction. One bad mothafucka. Ruling with an iron fist from Snake Mountain in the dark lands of Eternia, Skeletor knew how to torment. The only drawbacks were the fact that he took himself waaay to seriously, not to mention his weak ass, extemely nasal-delivered voice. It's a wonder any of his henchmen took him seriously. For a dude so big and with so much power, you would think he could have fastened some sort of spell to help him sound like a beast. Alas, sometimes you're just not cut out to be all things, even if you are a black magic practicing, sinister trickster.

1. Megatron – Transformers

And here we are. The numero uno spot. I can think of no other character that fits the bill better than Megatron. The fallen brother of do-gooder Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots, Megatron formed his own gang of miscreants – the Decepticons. Bad through and through, he's one to fear. First off, he's an imposing figure, with a pretty evil sounding voice to boot. Second, he turns into a goddamn gun. That blasts the shit out of robots. Third, he doesn't take shit off of anyone, including his own men (looking at you, Starscream). Cheat, steal, lie – this guy will do anything to win, including brotherly murder. That's some cold ass, biblical shit right there. And when he does finally fall, what happens? He sells his soul to Unicron and becomes Galvatron, an even BIGGER fuckin' gun. Or is it a tank? Does it matter? The fact is, Megatron truly brings the ruckus. That is why he covets the number one spot.

Mmmmmm...Mr. Spriggs!

2008-08-05T13:10:00.002-05:00

Mr. Spriggs Barbequefunny videosFunnyOrDie.com

Now that's what I call tasty.

Mr. T & Snickers: Saving the Day

2008-08-04T11:56:00.002-05:00

It really satisfies.

Albums Of My Life

2008-07-31T12:46:00.003-05:00

Considering today is a little on the slow side (for once), I've decided to trace back the roots of my life in an interesting way. Here is a list of essential records that came out each year of my existence. Starting with the year I was born and leading up to the present, these are my selections for the albums that define who I am and how I came to be. Some are a blend of what I appreciate now and what I was into that year. Hence, some embarrassment is probably in order. Take into consideration that not all of these are still my favorite. They just happened to be my favorite at the time. So, on that note, if you don't agree or have a different opinion, you can rightly go screw yourself. I regret nothing!!

1979 – The Clash - The Clash
1980 – The Clash - London Calling
1981 – The Stray Cats - Stray Cats
1982 – Michael Jackson - Thriller
1983 – Def Leppard - Pyromania
1984 – Bob Marley & the Wailers - Legend
1985 – Tears for Fears - Songs From the Big Chair
1986 – Bon Jovi - Slippery When Wet
1987 – U2 - Joshua Tree
1988 – Journey - Greatest Hits
1989 – Garth Brooks - Garth Brooks (Bite your tongue)
1990 – Enigma - MCMXC A.D.
1991 – Pearl Jam - Ten
1992 – ** Tie ** Stone Temple Pilots - Core & Dr. Dre - The Chronic
1993 – Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dreams
1994 – ** Tie ** Weezer - The Blue Album & Live - Throwing Copper
1995 – 311 - 311
1996 – ** Tie ** Dave Matthews Band - Crash & Tool - Ænima
1997 – Radiohead - OK Computer
1998 – KoRN - Follow the Leader
1999 – Guster - Lost & Gone Forever
2000 – OutKast -Stankonia
2001 – Jimmy Eat World - Bleed American
2002 – Coldplay - A Rush of Blood to the Head
2003 – The Mars Volta - De-Loused in the Comatorium
2004 – ** Tie ** Arcade Fire - Funeral & Muse - Absolution
2005 – Sufjan Stevens - Illinois
2006 – Deftones - Saturday Night Wrist
2007 – Radiohead - In Rainbows
2008 – ** So far ** Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes & Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend

Yeah, so there it is. If you wanna get in on the fun, then check out either this site or this site. They'll help you compile a list of your own.

Boats 'N Hoes

2008-07-28T15:43:00.003-05:00

I'm really glad to see good ol' fashion, filthy gangsta rap is coming back in a big way, as clearly seen in this clip from the movie Step Brothers. With lines such as I'm a pussy pirate / My name is Jack Sparrow / Take off my pants / You can see my flesh arrow, it's hard not to recognize the pure genius of these two man-children. Look for big things to come from their new venture, Prestige Worldwide, a “multi-service” corporation specializing in such things as financial planning, talent management, catering, and live musical entertainment. Chuch!

Gnarls Barkley :: Who's Gonna Save My Soul

2008-07-25T11:19:00.004-05:00

If you've ever had the unequivocal joy of being dumped, then this video is for you. Considering most of us HAVE infact been shit on at one time or another, most of you will immediately be able to relate. For those that have not had that feeling, consistently sitting in your tower and doling out the dumps to those poor souls who cease to have any heart, then fuck you very much. Enjoy your stay in the 7th ring of hell.

Man Man In The Streets

2008-07-23T13:11:00.004-05:00

by lablogotheque

This is why I love Man Man. Not only do they walk around the streets of Paris like a fucking mad carnival let loose, they get the crowd involved all the way. These guys continue to put on one of the more impressive shows you can hope to see.

Courtesy of La Blogotheque - Check out the site for more clips of the band.

The Dark Knight Turbo Pwns Box Office

2008-07-21T15:32:00.003-05:00

If you're one of the three morons in the U.S. that didn't see The Dark Knight this weekend, then you need to seriously get your priorities straight and go see the damn movie right now. It's one of the only times that you'll truly find a picture actually live up to all the hype and raving madness. It's THAT good. If it were a cocktail, it would be a bacon martini. If it were a mythical creature, it would be a giant, winged gorilla with the claws of a velociraptor, the head of a serpent and the breasts of Athena. It makes House Party 1 look like House Party 2. Not only did it make 158 million dollars in the U.S. alone this past weekend, but from what I understand, it also took in 467 billion* dollars....in Canada.
The acting, the story, the sets, the action...everything is amped up in this one. I heard that when Chris Nolan finally finished the film, the heavens split, and God looked down upon the film and said "You are my finest Creation above all else." And it was good. It was sooo good.

*Figures are rough estimates

Radiohead :: House Of Cards

2008-07-14T10:06:00.004-05:00

Radiohead just released their new video for House Of Cards, and just as you would assume, it's pretty amazing. You may have to watch it a few times just to appreciate it fully, especially considering the fact that the video was entirely shot WITHOUT cameras or lights. It's all just data recorded using lots of fancy devices that my pea-sized brain is incapable of comprehending. Watch it here, and be sure to check out the extras, including a "how'd they do that" short and some nifty data visualizations to play around with. Then you can go eat lunch.

Hell Ride > Citizen Kane

2008-07-10T13:14:00.002-05:00

This looks incredibly trashtastic. I have to see it.

You Gotta Love Harvest Time

2008-07-02T10:42:00.001-05:00

I feel like I'm getting a little juicy right now.

UT Loop Is Addictive

2008-06-30T11:52:00.001-05:00

Check out this site from Uniqlo to make your own loop. It's addictive as hell, so don't say I didn't warn you.

Batman Pwns Batman

2008-06-27T14:39:00.011-05:00

This movie will completely trump The Dark Knight. It has the potential of raking in as much as eleventy billion dollars. My pee pee is happy just thinking about it. Who needs villains when the best villain around...is yourself! DUM-DUM-DUUUUUUUUMMMMMMM!!!

Man Of The Day

2008-06-26T13:13:00.009-05:00

Hey, ladies! This is Lee. He needs a date. This we know for sure:
1. He's into kinky women that like to be tied up.
2. He's intelligent and cultured.
3. He get's paid to make video games.
4. He wants to try extreme cliff diving, but is terrified of it.
5. He knows the way to a woman's heart - poetry.

You would be a fool not to go after this man. The choice is yours.

Steven Segal Is WAY Cooler In Japan

2008-06-23T13:37:00.002-05:00

This Japanese commercial for the new Steven Segal box set of his classic hits makes me wanna watch Hard To Kill real bad.

Man Of The Day

2008-06-20T17:01:00.002-05:00

When it comes to candy, this little fat kid in Iraq is dropping mad beats, rocking the flow and doling out the beat downs like no one's business. Why? Cause when he comes with it, he comes correct, son. That's why he is today's Man Of The Day.

// Muxtape Update //

2008-06-19T15:49:00.003-05:00

That's right, kiddies. I've taken the time to finally update that bad boy with some new flavors for the summertime. Enjoy.

Click here to get in on what all the cool kids will be listening to.

The Rock-afire Explosion Is Back!

2008-06-19T14:06:00.002-05:00

This time, they rock the Material Girl's new one. Frrrrresh!

Coldplay :: Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends

2008-06-16T13:30:00.003-05:00

After being M.I.A. for the past 2 weeks, I'm back. Sorry for the delay, but I do actually have a real job that requires honest to God attention and time put to it. Thankfully, that crap may be over for a bit, so I can get back to wasting huge amounts of time.
Well, the new Coldplay album, Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends, is being released tomorrow, and I for one am looking forward to hearing what Chris Martin and his fellow snaggle-toothed countrymen are bringing to the table this time. In reality, I already have the album, and let me tell you, it's not too damn shabby.
So far, I've been hearing a lot of people complaining about how their new stuff is a different - a real departure from their normal sound. Ummm...what? You listen to one song and automatically draw that conclusion? No, fortunately for those of us that enjoy Coldplay, they stay pretty true to their sound, but they do explore some different directions with their material, which is a good thing. With their first single, Violet Hill, released online weeks ago, they explore a new topic, composing their first ever anti-war protest song and borrowing a rhythm from the Beatles (Violet Hill is a street near Abbey Road). With Viva la Vida, or "live the life", the band hit their stride in a big way, making another hit song that will stick with you for the rest of the day. It's on a freaking iPod commercial, so you know you'll be singing it going to work by tomorrow morning.
Soaring vocals, giant beats, even a few strings thrown in....this is definitely a step up for the guys. They have some very cool, haunting songs, such as Cemeteries of London and 42, which breaks into some very Radiohead-ish sounding material at the end. You can't help but nod your head to the songs Lost? and Lovers In Japan, with their fantastic chorus lines and thumping beats. Strawberry Swing has some melodies reminiscent of the Fab Four, and closer Death and All His Friends ties it all up with a song that continues to build upon itself, finishing in dramatic fashion. If you're one of the legions that has followed Coldplay from their early days as the new hot thing to stadium kings, you won't be disappointed with this release. Score one more for the boys across the pond.

The Schedule Has Arrived

2008-06-03T09:30:00.003-05:00

That's right. The 2008 Austin City Limits Music Festival schedule was just released, which means you now have two things to do: 1. Look at the list, envy the list, get a ticket if you haven't already, and start working out to prepare for the 3 mile treks in between stages. And 2. Start bitching. Bitch about how they could possibly have the nerve to put two awesome bands like the Raconteurs and Gnarls Barkley on two different stages at the same damn time. The Black Keys at the same time as Iron & Wine? Clear across a park? Really? Really. Fucking tools. I understand there's a lot of great bands playing, and they have to fit them in at some point, but seriously...next time, get my opinion before doing so. Allow me to construct that schedule, and the shit will be banging! A man can dream, right?

On a related note, I will be avoiding the dreaded "swamp crotch" this year by using mass amounts of baby powder. All donations will be gladly accepted.

Thank you - Mgmt.

The Greatest Thing You Will See All Day

2008-05-30T13:48:00.004-05:00

Showbiz Pizza has really stepped up it's game.

The Coen Bros. Make Me Happy

2008-05-30T11:16:00.002-05:00

Anyone who watches a Coen Bros. movie immediately recognizes their distinct style and flair for telling their twisted little stories. Their genius is unmatched in this regard. Take for example The Big Lebowski. It's a classic. It's stupendous. And if you don't agree, then you can lick my taint. That's how much I love this film. Well, looks like they're about to release their next feature, similar in fashion to Lebowski. It's called Burn After Reading, and the cast, along with the story, make this flick look like the next Coen Bros. classic. It's slated for a fall release sometime. Can't wait.

Sigur Rós :: Gobbledigook

2008-05-27T14:21:00.003-05:00

Here's the brand new single off of the forthcoming Sigur Rós album, entitled Með suð i eyrum við spilum endalaust, which means something like "with a buzz in our ear we play endlessly"...or something like that. Crazy Icelandians. Anywho, it's pretty kickass. You can definitely hear some comparisons to Animal Collective. Can't wait for this release. Check it out.

Gobbledigook - mp3

Tropic Thunder :: Red-Band Trailer

2008-05-20T13:09:00.003-05:00

This new red-band trailer for Tropic Thunder makes the movie look 10 times more awesome than it already did, which is a great thing. RDJ is going to rock this flick.

Radiohead Conquers Dallas

2008-05-19T17:17:00.009-05:00

Last night, Radiohead made their triumphant return to the city of Dallas, leaving thousands in awe of their ability to completely pwn your ass. Playing an unbelievable, almost 2-hour set, Thom Yorke and crew made up for the fact that they hadn't played the DFW area in 10 years. It was obviously well worth the wait.

Surrounded by a set filled with 70 tubes of light and a giant screen focusing on each member of the band, it was truly a spectacle to behold. Playing a variety of songs from each of their albums (other than Pablo Honey), it was a fairly low-key night, with a few rockers interspersed with the softer, moodier selections. Yorke's voice was as haunting as ever, with every note ringing as true as on the albums. These guys showed why they're the masters of their craft.

A few highlights of the evening included selections from In Rainbows, their latest release. Opener All I Need set the tone for the evening, as well as Weird Fishes/Arpeggi, House Of Cards, Reckoner and Jigsaw Falling Into Place. It wasn't until they played some of their more well known pieces that the crowd instantly went wild, including Exit Music (For A Film), National Anthem, The Bends, Everything In Its Right Place, and a near pitch-perfect rendition of Fake Plastic Trees. But it was their second encore, with the inclusion of Paranoid Android that brought down the house, leaving everyone in attendance with a glazed-over look. It was apparent that 20,000+ people had just witnessed one of the best shows they may see in quite some time.

Needless to say, Radiohead still reigns as one of the best in the business today. All hail the kings.

*** Pictures by gorilla vs. bear & John Stobie - Thanks!

Turkish Cinema Is Box Office Gold

2008-05-16T10:27:00.002-05:00

This is by far the most incredible piece of cinema you will ever see in your lifetime. If you thought Rambo couldn't get any better, then you're dead wrong. This is the glory of the craft at it's finest. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll be amazed. It's just...that...bad. And by bad, I mean unequivocally awesome.

No Time For Love, Dr. Jones!

2008-05-15T11:34:00.004-05:00

In exactly one week, a little known movie will finally be released. The countdown to me losing control of my bowels begins now. That is all.

Tim & Eric Awesome Show

2008-05-14T16:01:00.007-05:00

For those that may not have heard of the genius that is known as Tim & Eric Awesome Show - Great Job!, sit back, relax and prepare to be floored. This Adult Swim sketch show continues to amaze me with the bizarre, random and completely absurd shit these guys do. I still crack up every time I watch these, and I think it's high time I finally share some of the better sketches with you all.